10. Showering like an American is a tradition rooted in inveterate obedience to authority. Parents tell their children to shower, children tell their children to shower. But nobody asks ‘why?”
9. Some of the greatest minds in the European Western Tradition were essentially uninterested in showering, and did so only when absolutely necessary. Perhaps they used the time they would have used showering toward greater purposes, such as creating stimulating art, literature and music. Don’t you want to be like them?
8. Showering is wasteful: Europeans, who are typically more environmentally conscious than Americans, realize that showering wastes soap and shampoo, each which are sold in plastic packaging and costs money that could be used to fund the arts and humanities instead of funding inveterate, generally unnecessary tasks of habituation.
7. Showering is dangerous: Sometimes people faint. Sometimes people fall asleep. In fact, people faint and fall asleep all the time. Suppose that this were to happen when in the shower. What then? There is a chance that you could drown, or slip, hit your head and then drown. If you don’t shower, then you are cutting down on shower-related risks.
6. You are not responsible for other people’s hang-ups. Because showering daily is not a practice well-supported by reason, it’s hard to see why there exists such a presumptive case in favour of doing it. Even so, many people will judge you and criticize you, and even talk behind your back, if they learn that you don’t shower daily. But remember, the fact that they feel this way about showering reflects their own hang-ups, not your own. You are not responsible for their own lack of thought.
5. As the Euro-trash know, there are other ways to hide stink: Using non-aerosol deodorant, and perhaps briefly washing your hair in the sink, changing shirts and putting on cologne can cover up damn near anything that a shower could wash off. Plus, it saves you time, soap and water.
4. Body odor: a whiff of honesty. Sometimes, we assume that B.O. must be categorically covered up. But why? Consider that humans are the only animals that try to deceive others into believing that they smell differently than they naturally do. Sure, some formal situations might require certain appeals to propriety, but others should be much more lax. When you’ve been outdoors, consider that your scent just tells people: “This is who I am” rather than cologne, which sends the message “This is who I am not.” Honesty, even under the armpits, is the best policy.
3. Showering is expensive: Especially for those living the free-thinking, low-budget life of a student, it makes no sense to shower daily. There are a lot of ways to spend the little money you have while working through school, and paying a water company to give you water you don’t need and won’t drink seems like it should occupy the bottom of the list.
2. Showering wastes time. If you are a serious, concerned person, you probably try to use your time in the most maximally efficient ways possible. Showering takes up precious time, and it usually does so during the early morning, which is one of the most key creative points of the day. It is simply irresponsible to use these precious creative moments staring comatose at shower tiles.
1. Stinch in the face of dogmatic cleanliness can be liberating; as a Europen ironist might point out, it is cleanliness in the midst of ideological stinch.
