To be introduced to a family nudist photo gallery once in your lifetime is plenty. Often it will leave you wondering why you were chosen for just such an honour. It is not every day that when you least expect it, a family member hits you with a surprise of a lifetime.
To be shown a family nudist photo gallery by a member of your family teaches you a number of things. First, it prepares you to be ready for anything. It goes on to demonstrate how little you may know about people whom you deemed close to your heart. It also teaches you to be careful about what family members you choose to hold near and dear to your heart. It especially teaches you to be weary of photo albums you may find at a family member’s home.
Previously in the adventures of the family nudist photo gallery, there was the story of an innocent bar-b-q where the last thing I was expecting was to suddenly lose my appetite. However, as we have all realized, the bar-b-q can be a very dangerous place. I am not referring to fire safety issues. When family gathers around you are often caught off guard. You can’t be rude, particularly to elderly family members. You also need to be careful about who you choose to be pleasant with. An innocent looking photo album from a trip abroad turned out to have devastating consequences. It contained far too many rumpled elderly skins for my liking. What made it worse, I didn’t finish digesting.
All in all the day at the bar-b-q was not a total disaster. There were other family members that I did not get to see in quite a while. As is common with these types of gatherings, family members attempt to catch up. In doing so, family members will often attempt to make plans, hoping to get together at a later date. This particular outing was no exception. An older cousin of mine invited my family to their home for dinner. I accepted and made plans to see them in a couple of weeks. What was awaiting us could never have been anticipated.
When we arrived at my cousin’s home we were greeted by big smiles and a warm embrace. We had not seen them for several years and yet they welcomed us into their home as if it had been only days. We sat down in their living room and began talking. My cousin works as a bond trader and has done very well for himself over the years. It doesn’t seem to matter how the market goes, he comes out on top. One day I will have to gain some insight from him on how to master the market.
Our meal was spectacular. I lost count after the third course of roast turkey and began to feel sleepy as we were served raspberry sorbet. My cousin suggested we all grab our dessert bowls and head into the den to relax. My cousin’s wife is a remarkable interior designer and the den was decorated accordingly. We sat admiring a Rembrandt on the wall when my cousin suggested we watch a video tape of their trip to the Mayan Riviera. I had been once before and didn’t think anything of it.
We sat eating our sorbet as the video began. The shots were actually quite breathtaking. There were both sunsets and sunrises with several shots from the ocean while they had been out scuba diving. It is a beautiful place and I would recommend anyone thinking about going to check it out. Then it happened.
The video of their trip ended and it appeared to have been taped over something else because immediately we were watching footage of a couple at home working on building a shelving unit. I say couple only out of respect. At the moment we could only see a woman. It was explained to us that it was my cousin’s wife’s mother in the shot. Moments later a man walked into the shot and I almost fell over. He must have been in his early to late seventies and he was completely nude. That’s right… NUDE!
I began to get up and walk to the kitchen in an attempt to not lose my dinner right there on their carpet but my cousin urged me to watch because it was hilarious. This old man, completely nude, began assembling the shelving unit. Yes, he was still nude and didn’t seem to care. I had so many questions that made the whole thing so disturbing. Like, who are these people? Who was taping this? How in the world am I related to any of these folks? I was too disturbed to stick around to find out.
It was getting late and I had been attacked by the family nudist photo gallery once again. I was starting to believe that I was cursed. It became clear to me that somebody must be having a great laugh at my expense. More importantly, when it comes to the family nudist photo gallery, it was becoming even clearer that I must be adopted.
