When considering interpersonal skills it is worth noting that they are not readily learned. My first impulse as a life coach, after years of mentoring and teaching others how to improve themselves, is to say that they are impossible to learn. That might be a bit harsh and fatalistic, so maybe we should tone down the statement to say they are, to say the least, difficult to learn. As a human being your greatest skill is not your education, erudition, etc., but that wonderful innate sense within you that allows you to act and say just the right thing, no more and no less. That is the beginning of the drive to develop a talent which will put you in good stead with employers, friends, new acquaintances, and yes even your life mate.
Introduction
So, how are interpersonal skills defined? They encompass the ability to work well with people, and involve your acceptance of others, without prejudice. This does not always mean that you like the person, but you are able to overcome your dislike in order to achieve your tasks. Consider with me several abilities that will improve your job performance.
Personality that matches your job requirements
For the most part, our personalities are what they are. While it is possible to tweak and change things, you should never seek a job in which you are forced to be someone you are not. For instance, if you are not an outgoing person, you should not seek a job in customer service or sales. These positions require that you interact and be proactive in meeting and talking to people. As a business owner, you should be very careful who the first contact is with your customers. Many people do not have the personality to be a receptionist or lead person and can drive away business.
Take a personal inventory to determine your fit
You will never be more miserable than when you are in a job that is a poor fit. Sometimes a promotion will spell disaster for your career path. Managers are well meaning in their desire to promote a good employee, and you certainly may need the increase in income, but many times if a promotion requires new skills for which you are not prepared, a promotion can be a career ending move. Never compromise on this principle. Never accept a new position if the skills you will need are not something you can learn easily.
Practice teamwork and collaborative decision making
Today’s work environment is a different world than in the past. Employers do not look for employees who work alone. They seek team members who arrive at decisions based on a collaborative effort of the entire group. Team work requires an entire set of skills that differ from those required in the past. Being able to work with others to achieve team goals can be learned with experience. Teams move through stages of development and participants who are open to change and assimilation can acquire the skills necessary to work well with the group.
Remember there is no “I” in the word “team.” Teamwork is not about you and your ideas. It is about taking everyone’s ideas and thoughts and developing a workable solution. The final solution is not completely the idea of any one person.
Communication skills are your lifeline
Most have suffered to pain of working for someone for whom communications are not their strong points. Sharing important information is definitely important for the smooth operation of any business. While verbal communications are not always necessary, email and post-it notes are an easy way to pass information to others. If you are a gate keeper for a superior, it is important to determine how he/she likes to be kept in the loop. Never assume anything and never put yourself in a position of knowing something and failing to share it with those who need to know.
Always double check emails and other written communications are crisp, professional, and to the point. Set up your email to double check spelling. Nothing gives a worse impression that an email with misspelled words.
Listening more than you speak is a good place to start with developing interpersonal skills. No one appreciates a person who talks non-stop.
Develop an attitude of appreciation and thankfulness
An old saying fits well at this point. “There is no limit to what can be accomplished if no one cares who gets the credit.” Learn to appreciate others and show gratitude. When the team succeeds, you succeed as a group. When the team fails, you share the blame.
An attitude of gratitude is a personal skill that can be learned. Saying thank you and please are easy statements to make and pay off in great dividends.
Conclusion
Interpersonal skills that match the requirements of your job are essential to upward mobility in your career. Since some skills cannot be learned, it is well worth evaluating your skill sets in light of a promotional or career change opportunity to determine if you are a good fit. Sometimes a refusal can do more for your future than jumping into a situation that may torpedo your career.
