Nowadays, everybody wants to travel. Some to see the world, others to get away from it all, but none-the-less, we all fantasize about faraway shores, palm trees and calm waters or bustling cities full of culture and character. Some people save for months to take that holiday, although nowadays last minute holiday deals are all the rage, especially amongst the younger, more carefree generations.
There is however one major flaw with last minute holidays, which I wish to share, on behalf of all the ladies, and some of the men! Having found my dream holiday ( a week in Olu Deniz, Turkey) for less than a weekend away in London – I didn’t hesitate to book. However, upon ending the call, I glanced at the calendar and was horrified to see that I had only a week until we jetted off. Now, I’m sure many would see that as a cause to celebrate. I didn’t. I had only one week get a bikini fit body, and I hadn’t even shed my old winter jumpers yet, let alone relinquished the chocolate bars or ventured down the salad isle.
And so, the mission began, to lose weight in seven days. Now, however hopeless my quest may seem to you; dear reader, there is a happy ending. I was successful! I lost just over seven pounds in seven days, and as a result, I feel it only fair to try to help those in the exact same predicament. So here are my secret tips to success, for you, to follow as closely as you wish.
Empty the crap out of the cupboards. All those crisps, biscuits, cakes and even the popcorn you have been saving for your film nights – they have to go. If it is too painful to throw them out with the garbage, take them over to your friends. You may as well win brownie points while you are depriving yourself such pleasures. Also, with a bit of luck, when you see them next, they will have put on weight and you’ll look even slimmer!!
Drain away the wine! Also, the fizzy drinks and any other alcoholic beverages. When you’re on holiday, you will most likely be intoxicated for the entire duration, so one week off the booze can’t hurt surely? Besides, anything with fizz now will simply make you bloat and look even fatter! Not a good look!
Go to the shops and buy; porridge oats, milk (skimmed), natural yogurt, mint sauce, cucumber, a lemon, some fruit yoghurt’s, and lots of salad and fruit that you actually like. Even avocados are allowed!! Now, you will notice that there is no dressing on your shopping list. I drown my salad in dressing, so I couldn’t go without, but I have created a healthy alternative which I will share with you! Chop the cucumber into small squares, and throw in a bowl with the natural yogurt and a dollop of mint sauce. Mix well. Now you have a perfectly tasty sauce with which to disguise all the nasty healthiness on your plate! If you are really miserable, by – say – the end of the second day; you can cheat and add cheese or even a piece of chicken breast (I did).
Go buy a fitness dvd – I swear by the celebrity ones! Honestly, get the dance workout by Tiffany off Eastenders (she’s dead now – on the show I mean!). Are you ready for this…. You have to do the workout everyday for the whole seven days – no weekend off! Well, you’re the one who wants to lose weight!! Also, while you are there, buy a decent dance cd which you won’t hate by the end of the week. Trust me, the dance/fitness instructor barking at you will get really annoying after a while!
Drink water, water and more water! Just water though. It will detoxify your body, and this will in turn de-bloat you, and help your tummy get slimmer! Bonus! If it gets too dull, just squeeze some fresh lemon or lime to add flavour.
Rope your partner into help if you have one, sex is a great calorie burner and is also more fun than watching a your designated celebrity’s abs as s/he jumps around, making you feel even more obese. Try for seven nights of sex, for maximum toning and pleasure!
That’s it, those are my tips! If you can keep it up for seven days, and your fitness DVD is at least an hour long, you are laughing all the way to the scales. Just some pointers though; adding the occasional teaspoon of sugar to your porridge will not do any harm to your diet, and should you lose motivation then just put on your bikini and walk around the house for a bit. That is sure to refresh your vigour.
As for my happy ending (having lost 7lbs in seven days) I walked off the plane, into the heat of the Turkish sun feeling toned, happy and good about my figure. However, my confidence was somewhat dented when we reached the beach, and there were about a million size 8 Turkish beauties swanning around in next to nothing!
WARNING: This diet will help you lose 7lbs in seven days for your holiday…. But it can’t exterminate the beach bunnies plague!
