No matter how many people are present,or what size hall you have reserved or what type of food you are serving, it is a pretty sure bet, that at some point you and your guests are going to have to sit down. How you plan for the comfortable and pleasant seating of your guests, whether you have fifty, two hundred and fifty or any number in between will definitely set the tone of your whole wedding reception. Don’t worry, everyone you know will tell you who they want to be seated with and who they really can’t abide. Regardless of what other members of your family or your friends may say or think, it is clearly the couple who not only have to make a decision about seating but also be ready to live with the results. Knowing the pros and cons of assigned seating may help you to get a handle on the kind of seating arrangement you will eventually use.
The Pros
1. Everyone is Accounted for There is one thing that assigned seating guarantees to the bride and the groom. Every single guest who has sent a return card will in short order be accounted for. Everyone officially has a place to sit, no one is left standing wondering what to do next. By the time the bride and groom are announced for the first time as “Mr and Mrs. Whoever” you will be able to greet your guests with a smile knowing that you have taken care that every single guest has been accounted for .
2. Order prevails Not only does assigned seating address each particular person’s seating needs, it also provides an overall sense of organization and calm for your and your guests. When you have many people moving into a confined space, broken up by tables and chairs, without some direction you can produce a chaotic scene. If instead people walk in, pick up their alphabetized place card and proceed, possible with the help of an usher or bridesmaid, to locate their assigned table, you will be amazed at how orderly seating can become. Less confused people are people who are more pleased with where they are and what they are doing.
3. Micro- Managing Assigned seating allows those brides and grooms who are so inclined to really micro-manage the socializing that will be going on at their wedding. By giving yourself the authority over who sits with whom you have the power to keep difficult combinations away from one another as well as seat friends or family together. Depending on the personality of the bride and groom this can really be fun to do and even something to look forward to.
4.Guests feel no pressure As soon as wedding guests see the tiny place cards with their name and a table number many will relax because the choice or even just the need to make a choice has been removed from their plate. They sit at the whim and pleasure of the bride and the groom. They cannot be blamed for sitting with someone or snubbing someone else. They simply go and sit where they are told. A wedding reception should be a place to have a good time. Removing pressure from guests through assigned wedding seating can help make that pressure free event a reality for your guests.
The Cons
1. A chore One definite drawback that comes with deciding to use assigned seating is that making that plan work means more work for you. If you are already feeling stressed, knowing that there is another chore that really requires your personal attention might just be one too many. Assigned seating may put additional strain on both the bride and the groom as they try to find a pleasant place for each guest to sit and enjoy the reception. It is far more time consuming than one might think and always involves a variety of balancing acts.
2.No Spontaneity If you decide in favor of assigned seating you may get all the order and organization you want but in the bargain you may have lost some of the spontaneity and fun that can be had by just leaving people to work things out for themselves. Sometimes and for some groups, order can be too much like work. Depending on your particular group of attendees you may feel you have cheated them out of the excitement of finding their own way to a table.
3What if you guess wrong. Micro-managing the seating at your wedding through assigned seating can seem the way to go right up to the point where you make a bad call. Not knowing everything about everybody’s relationships there is a good chance that in at least one situation you will guess wrong and land some folks together that really would be far happier apart. If this happens, you are the responsible party. If you are sitting at the head table and look out to just a few people who really look like they were misplaced by you, it can really take the glow off the meal.
4. The fate of odd lots. One unfortunate side bar of assigned seating at a wedding reception is what happens to guests who might be called odd lots . These are the people who are not part of a group, yet still were important enough to the bride or the groom to invite to the wedding. Occasionally these odd lots find themselves conveniently ( for the bride and the groom) placed at what really ends up being the “Odd Lots Table”. No one there seems to know anyone and sometimes they feel really awkward for much of the reception. Assigned seating encourages the accommodation of families, business associates, college cliques and leaves odd lots on the outside looking in.
When it comes time for you to decide for or against assigned seating at your wedding reception remember one thing. No matter whether you choose assigned or open seating there is bound to be someone who wanted it the other way. The question of whether assigned seating is a good plan to use for a wedding reception has it’s pros and cons. There is no one right choice, there is only the choice that works the best for you. It’s your wedding day, so go with what feels right to you.
