First off, realize you are NOT alone. Go to a search engine web site like yahoo or google and look for a support group after you look for stories of other women in your position. Next, make sure you have the ability to leave. Think of this situation as if you were stranded in the middle of the wilderness and the items that you need only tailored to this situation and how long you need to survive. This is just in case you decide or are forced to decide to leave. If you want to survive for what may be an extended period make sure that you have the means to. Money and a place to stay away from him for an extended period of your time or income or savings separate from his that he can’t control. With merely this you can leave just-in-time and stay gone if you feel the urge to. Once you’ve found evidence that he is cheating on control, letting the other woman know that you’re aware of their affair and interactions might be in order. He won’t approve of it and will want to defend her and perhaps may start to feel for you a bit again because of the traumatic nature of his being caught. Are you willing to divorce your husband? If these negative behaviors are going to become even somewhat frequent in your marriage, consider it. If things keep up you may have to, even after he’s ended the affair. You have the option well as sue him for infidelity and make her life a living hell legally with just research and phone calls... but some people aren’t into revenge, no matter how legal.
It’s a normal reaction for you to be angry, and anything you can take from the marriage and him after he’s done this to you belongs to you. Anything within the court’s law can help you get a new start once you’ve ended your marriage and your life can be taken account by you and you can focus on other things in life, perhaps even seeking a new husband. If he’s cheating on you, it’s probably not just for sex but for some inherent flaw he sees in you and your marriage.
He likely won’t want to go to talk to someone with you because he’s embarrassed and angry at being caught and starting to feel guilty about his actions. However, many people try to save their marriages, successfully I may add, through counseling. Any promise again and again that he won’t do it again. But it hasn’t gone long that he really loves you and wants to be you but if you won’t do anything you want, what he’s been caught in a situation is not that he’s wrong. It’s that you’re wrong for staying there and putting up with that and letting his desires for something else and IT of you is not you continue really are new, would your friends say it’s a new sacrifice relationship in leave to answer a question release questions after can.
So you can expect responses of denial that he did something wrong in this case. Perhaps that you’re doing the right thing for your relationship and a slight and affront against you like this should be taken with more than normal gravity, because this isn’t a normal event in your life. Retaining yourself and your well being, as well as not becoming angry and doing something you and others may regret are the most important things of all. And if he wants to be with someone else, you may want to leave him, move and file for divorce and let him. He won’t want this and may attempt to convince and console you but consider what he’ll be losing when not married to you anymore and him gone. He knows that his affair partner is feeling as if they’re special because you’re giving attentions to them when he already has it all.
Understanding that this is a common social problem and not something limited to you and your man is a key point I need to make. To do so will help you begin to come to terms with the fact that most men won’t act on it but will give a woman he might find attractive the time of day. Beginning to understand and copy with his desires and what he felt he was denying himself that he had to have will have a different response for each woman that’s been cheated on. Expecting to have a solid marriage and another woman in his life is a mistake that he made.
You may know and feel that you made a mistake by staying with him if you do, he’ll either learn from it or not. You’ll hurt yourselves and others by trying to lie or be unreasonable about what you do with your life and how that these actions affect your marriage and be selfish as he has been to make sure that you’re not sacrificing parts of your life when it’s going to hurt you, especially for a badly thought out reason such as “I love him and he hurt me but I love him so I’ll still stay with him and win him back”. Sometimes women aren’t able to for whatever reason and you should never stick with him and stay when you’ve being abused like this. Find the willingness to care for yourself and be angry and upset with the situation and take care of your needs first, because he’s obviously too selfish to do so.
