Etiquette 101: How-to Plan Your Child’s Birthday Party
So, you want to host a special party that is in good taste. What to do? Considering that a child’s birthday party is a gift-giving event, there is some etiquette to consider. As your child’s best teacher, it’s best you know what this etiquette is. Moreover, as teacher, you can use this event as a teaching tool. Involve your child in the planning of the party with a focus on his/her guests’ in mind — refreshments, activities, thank you gifts and notes.
What follows is a bit of Q & A to help you and your child to plan politely.
Question
I am inviting all of my daughter’s friends to her 12th birthday party I’m hosting. However, she wants her three closest friends to stay afterwards for a sleepover. When the party is over, how can I politely dismiss the eight girls who are not invited to the sleepover?
Answer
Ouch! To help your daughter see how this might appear, ask her to help you plan the party. Of course, begin with your limitations, such as budget. During the planning process, ask her how she thinks the “sleepover rejects” might feel. In essence, she would be labeling some of her friends as better than others. More than likely, she didn’t consider how this could cause hurt feelings.
Question
Is it acceptable to discontinue sending invitations to a child’s birthday party to friends and family who seldom or ever attend? I feel like sending invitations knowing that they, most likely, will not attend is simply asking them to send a gift.
Answer
There are no mandatory guests for birthday parties-even grandparents. Invite only those your child wants in attendance.
I am hosting a birthday party for my son at a family entertainment facility with 33 children and 36 adults invited. I am covering the cost of the children which includes a buffet and unlimited drinks, rides, tokens for games, cake and gift bags. How do I word on the invitation that parents need to pay their own costs ($7)?
Answer
There is no polite way to state that invited guests pay for the party. Your alternatives are to pay for parents (all guests), state that if parents wish to attend, there is a $7 fee (you are notinviting them), or not invite them.
Question
Is it all right to host a birthday party for a four year old more than one week before her birthday? When should I send the invitations?
Friends, with whom we have not kept in touch, invited my husband and me to their one-year-old son’s birthday party. We have a prior commitment and cannot attend. Although we are typically generous with our gift giving, I am struggling with the thought of sending a gift. I feel that we only hear from them when there is a gift-giving event held in their honor. I am starting to feel like they are looking for a handout versus a friendship. What should I do?
Answer
No worries; no gift is necessary. A birthday party for such a young child is more for the parents benefit, rather than the children.
My child is invited to a birthday party for which we are unable to attend. Are we obligated to send a gift even though this is not a family member or close friend? My aunt says when you are invited to a party you are expected to send a gift no matter what. Your advice would be very helpful!
Answer
No. You are not obligated to give a gift, but a card is a thoughtful gesture. Some etiquette rules change in time. The old rule your aunt mentioned changed for the better.
